My daughter is turning 7 next month, a bizarre-seeming realization that takes me back to the days leading up to her birth. I had a particularly long–though not horrible–labor that progressed quite normally until it didn’t. Despite all our best efforts (e.g. climbing stairs, doing squats, laboring in the tub, walking the hallways, you name it!), I never dilated enough to push her out. I chose to go on Pitocin which had the effect of causing some particularly nasty–yet ultimately unhelpful–contractions. My doctor tried upping the dosage as a last attempt to bring my contractions into a productive rhythm, but it only caused my daughter’s heart rate to decelerate alarmingly. The birth team managed to stabilize her, but after more than 12 hours of no progress, we opted for a Caesarean birth, a mere 75 hours after labor had begun.
Her birth was beautiful. Our labor and delivery nurse and our doula made the atmosphere light and celebratory. We were so excited to finally see our baby. As soon as I was prepped I was wheeled into surgery where our 10 lb., 11 oz. baby was delivered, healthy as can be.
Something my doula said to me afterward has stuck with me all these years. She said our birth proved that Caesareans can be “real” births–not just “procedures”. It seems that sometimes folks from the world of natural/home birth think that medical/hospital birth folks are wrong-headed and vice versa. Even the phrase “natural” childbirth seems to imply that anything different is “unnatural”. I wonder if some women get caught up in these right/wrong, natual/unnatural birth discourses. These wrong birth/right birth discussions can lead to the very first seeds of guilt, shame, and self-doubt. I think a better way of framing the discussion is to talk about how Caesarean or other medical intervention can be beneficial (as when mom and/or baby appear at risk) and when it is seemingly unnecessary (as a means of convenience, for example).
As for me, given the circumstances of our birth, I could not have hoped for a better team or a better result. It was definitely the right birth for us. Happy birthday, indeed.